Did you know there are 4 types of boundaries and each one can be related back to your Sacred Money Archetypes? Boundaries is a topic I personally really love. The way to look at it is this. Personal boundaries define who you are as an individual. One of the beliefs that I hold true is that your personal boundaries will determine what your life looks like, absolutely.
The type of boundaries you have or don’t have influence the opportunities and situations that show up for you. If you make a decision one way, it changes the trajectory of your life completely over a period of time versus making a decision a different way.
Without good boundaries, you will not make the money you could, you will feel unhappy and be taken advantage of.
What are boundaries?
The thing to understand about boundaries, is that boundaries include more than just your physical boundaries and what you allow to happen or what you do physically.
They include mental boundaries, a mindset kind of thing.
They also, include psychological and spiritual boundaries.
So there are a lot of different aspects of ourselves regarding boundaries.
The connection between your boundaries and self-esteem
Boundaries involve beliefs, emotions, intuition and self-esteem. Boundaries make or break your self-esteem, and your self-esteem determines your boundaries. It is the chicken and egg example…which comes first.
I like to think of it a little differently. Imagine it is an infinity sign, which is like the number 8 on its side. Your self-esteem influences your boundaries, and your boundaries influence your self-esteem. There’s a really synergy and flow between self-esteem and boundaries.
I tell you this from experience and my own personal journey, as well as coaching many clients. You cannot wait for better self-esteem to start putting boundaries into place.
You want to do the opposite. Please make a note of this.
Creating powerful boundaries will improve your self-esteem.
What are the 4 types of boundaries?
Today we are looking at four main types of boundaries. The four types are soft, spongy, rigid and flexible.
1. Soft boundaries
A person with soft boundaries basically has no boundaries. There’s no distinction between them and other people.
My experience has been that when somebody is very soft with their boundaries, they can either be completely narcissistic, on one end of the spectrum, or on the other end, which is what I see mostly, they are really easily manipulated, disempowered, controlled, taken advantage of, and abused.
Soft or no boundaries is very common for the Nurturer and the Connector Sacred Money Archetypes in their shadow side. All Sacred Money Archetypes have both a shadow and an aligned side.
2. Spongy boundaries
Next are Spongy Boundaries. Somebody with spongy boundaries has a combination of both soft and rigid boundaries.
They permit less influence than the totally soft boundaries person. They do have some boundaries. They can be a little more toward rigid, but they’re unsure. What really defines somebody with spongy boundaries is that they’re either inconsistent or unsure of what to let in and what to keep out.
For example, this might show up as somebody who has to ask the opinion of a lot of people first before they know what to do. They can sometimes be a little overly rigid, and then they’ll flip-flop the other way. There’s a lot of inconsistency. They’re spongy. The Celebrity and , Romantic Sacred Money Archetypes usually fall into this type. On the one hand they know what they like and want…but then doubt themselves and either need a lot of reassurance that their choice is ok or they won’t listen to any advice at all and insist on doing their way.
3. Rigid boundaries
The Rigid type of boundary is not great either.
At first you may think, “I need better boundaries,” but going to the place of being rigid doesn’t get you the results you desire.
I see a lot of that with the Accumulator. I’m going to pick on the Accumulator for a moment since I have it in my top three. The Accumulator can be quite rigid around money, to the point where they cut themselves off from opportunity.
A person with rigid boundaries is closed or walled off. They don’t let people get close to them. Of course, this is protection. This is someone who is scared.
They have rigid boundaries to protect themselves. Maybe they’ve been emotionally, physically, psychologically or sexually abused, or they’ve had a bad experience, so then they put “the wall of no” into place. This is also typical for the Ruler, Maverick and Alchemist Sacred Money Archetypes.
4. Flexible boundaries
The last type is flexible. This is somebody who has distinct boundaries.
A person with flexible boundaries has distinct boundaries with a sense of control. They have a little bit more of a margin than someone with rigid boundaries.
Rigid boundaries are very distinctive but there is no room for give and take. No flexibility.
Flexible is not spongy. It’s not like they’re unsure, but there’s some give and take. They can be a little softer and are okay with it. They understand and are making a conscious choice about what they’re doing. They’re not inconsistent. They just have some flexibility.
Why knowing these 4 boundaries matter?
Somebody who’s rigid can break. There’s an opportunity for something to break there.
Somebody who’s spongy is not really sure. Somebody who’s flexible has certainty and confidence.
This is where you see a lot of self-esteem showing up. They’re deciding clearly what to let in and what to keep out. They’re fairly resilient.
Someone with flexible boundaries is aware of what is going on around them and are in control and are not manipulated by others.
When you have flexible boundaries you are not easy to exploit or be take advantage of. You understand what’s going on and are not going to allow that.
But, you just don’t have to go at it with the rigidity of somebody who’s more rigid with their boundaries.
Discover your Sacred Money Archetypes
If you want to learn more about the Sacred Money Archetypes so you can use this information to help you with your boundaries, you can watch a brand new video series I’ve made for you HERE.
I would love to hear your comment below! Where are you in the spectrum of these 4 boundaries and in relationship with your Sacred Money Archetypes?